Tag Archives: trailrunner

10 Keys To Insure A DNF In Your 1st 100 Mile Race

zach10 Keys to Insure a DNF in your 1st 100 Mile Attempt

1.       Select an Insanely Difficult Course

If you are going to run a freaking 100 mile race, why the hell would you run some wimpy flat course with no technical terrain or high altitudes?  What kind of wimpy hundred mile racer needs decent weather and tons of course support?  Don’t be a pussy just because you have never run 100 miles before!  Go big or go home!  I mean, you CRUSHED that last 50K you did… right?

2.       Continue Your Usual Training

It got you from the couch to 5K didn’t it?  It even helped you slide in before cutoff on that trail 50k.  One hundred miles in 30 hours – that’s only 3.33 miles per hour!  That is a slow walk.  There is no reason to destroy your joints with a bunch of back to back runs of 20 and even 30 mile runs.  Besides, who has the TIME to do that?

3.       Just “Wing it” On Race Day

This isn’t rocket science folks!  Here is all there is to it:  1. Show up.  2. Go to starting line. 3. Left foot forward, right foot forward, now repeat.   It’s that simple.  All these runners obsessing over distance between aid stations, what to put in drop boxes, cutoff times, weather, what to wear…. Blah blah blah.  The shit seriously makes me sick.  It’s never-ending.

4.       Race the First 50K

All this ultra-conservative talk about pacing in a 100 doesn’t make any sense.  Go out and run that 50K like you know that you can, and then slow down.  After all, you are experienced and know what pace you are comfortable to finish a 50k, why would you slow down before you need to?

5.       Eat and Drink Only When You FEEL Like It

Only eat and drink when you are hungry and thirsty.  Don’t cram food down your throat if your gut is upset.  All that will do is make you puke, and when you puke you are DONE.  Everyone knows this.  If you aren’t hungry – don’t eat.  If you aren’t thirsty –don’t drink.  This isn’t a shitty Weight Watchers meeting or your company fat-boy weight loss competition… why the hell would you count calories?  Besides, you have plenty of extra to burn, I mean c’mon we have all seen these fatties who run 100’s.

6.       Avoid Lube

Lube?  Seriously?  Are you a car? No. So why would you lube yourself?  Quit thinking you are some kind of machine that needs to stay fine tuned and well oiled.  What an ego you have!  All it is going to do is make you all greasy, smelly, and uncomfortable.  It will settle in your expensive running gear to grab all the dirt and road dust.    When you get that stuff on your fingers, it is nearly impossible to get off.  No one wants you grabbing stuff off the aid station tables with gross fingers.  NASTY!  Save the lube bottle for the bedroom fun you will be having with your significant other the night after!

7.       Go It Alone

You already have very few friends outside the community of ultrarunning weirdoes you know.  Do you really want ruin the few remaining friendships you have by asking your high school BFF to chase you around the countryside just to wait a few hours to do it again – just to fill your water bottles and pop your blisters?  I think not.  What about asking an ultrarunner who is injured or tapering?   Don’t think so… you already have to spend enough time with these psychos at prerace and at every aid satiation.  Take my advice; Go it alone.

8.       Find a Chair

25-30 hours is a long ass time.  Find a chair, take a load off and sit down for a while.  Hell, lay down for a while if you want.  Find a nice warm fire and get comfy.  A stop of 1 or 2 hours isn’t going to do anything but help.  I mean, it’s not like you are going to win. And you DO HAVE 30 hours.  Why not take a nap here or there.

9.       Stop if it Hurts

You have trained like you always have trained.  Surely that poke in your knee, burning toe, or swollen knee is a sign of serious injury!  Don’t risk missing next month’s Color Dash Diva Plunge because you are too hard headed to stop when you are in pain!  Do the right thing and listen to the pain and that little voice telling you that you need to stop.  Keep in mind your feet know best.

10.   Rationalize Failure

It’s ok to quit.  It is fine not to finish.  It’s not THAT BIG of a deal.  It IS just a hobby after all, you would have been running anyway.  Only a tiny fraction of the world’s population even ATTEMPTS to run 100 miles.  Quit acting like this is some kind of soul searching, healing, and transformational experience.  It’s just a race – not worth pain and suffering.

P.S.

If for some reason you did NOT read the title – this is the shit to do if you want a DNF.  If you want a finisher’s buckle – DO THE OPPOSITE.

Until next time, BE EPIC!

Zach

FlatRock 101K – Beastmode Required

zachFlatRock. This course has been deceiving trail runners for almost 20 years. After all, it’s KANSAS. KANSAS is flat. How bad can it be? Go ahead, underestimate this trail – then go home and cry yourself to sleep. Nineteen Septembers in a row, runners have come to the Elk River Hiking Trail to tackle the FlatRock 50K trail ultra. This is the oldest ultra in the state, and it is pretty easy to make the argument that it is the BEST. It is as brutal as it is beautiful, as rugged as it is relaxing, as treacherous as it is tantalizing. An incredible, highly technical trail full of short steep climbs, roots and rocks that seemingly TRY to trip you, and buzzards circling overhead – FlatRock is hard – and strangely addictive. The “Hall of Pain” consists of runners who have run it 10 or more times in a row. So, what would make more sense than running this 50K? Why not running it TWICE? Thus, the FlatRock 101K was born.

Last April, after weeks of rain, about 40 brave souls set out to crack the rock. One hundred and one kilometers in 24 hours should be a walk in the park (or hike in the woods) in Kansas right? The addition of sticky, ankle deep mud, water crossings and incessant rain turned the course into Satan’s Slip n’ Slide. Trail conditions were more horrendous than normal. The runners simultaneously loved and loathed it. The final finisher came across minutes before the cutoff tired, covered in mud, but not broken. The raucous Epic Ultras finish line brought a welcomed end to runner’s suffering and, as always, made each feel like a champion. If you want to read all about my experience at the FlatRock 101K last year, check out the blog archived at http://epicultras.com/fr101kreport/. Also, there is a sweet video of FlatRock at http://flatrock101.com/.

If you are one of the lucky ones who managed to get into the FlatRock 50K before it sold out, and you showed up and braved the weather for WinterRock, you are only 101 kilometers worth of steps away from earning the FlatRock Triple Crown Award. This prestigious Golden Goblet is only given to those brave (or crazy) enough to sign up and finish the WinterRock 25 or 12K in January, the FlatRock 101K in April, and the FlatRock 50K in September.

If you think you are some kind of trail ultrarunner badass, you need to bring all you got to the 2nd annual FlatRock 101K on April 26th 2014 and put your theory to the test. If you want to see what you are really made of and push yourself to your absolute physical ultrarunning limits, you need to be there. If you are ready to become a true Midwest trail ultarunner, get registered now. FlatRock might just chew you up, spit you out, step on your face, and THEN send you home crying to your mama. IF you are too scared, that is understandable. I heard there are a few good half marathons that day…maybe you should check into those.

This course is amazing.  If you have not been on the Elk River Hiking Trail near Independence you have missed a very beautiful slice of life.  I shit you not, this place is actually, beyond amazing.  Please, look at my favorite set of pictures taken on the trail.   This gallery was the catalyst that rescued me from road runner monotony.    Here are the pics from this year’s 50K event.  Amazing.  This trail is gorgeous.  I have run the 50K twice and had the pleasure of leaving plenty of DNA on the jagged, unforgiving rocks.  In fact, in a few more years I plan on being knighted into the Flatrock Hall of Pain.  If you don’t know about the Hall of Pain GO HERE NOW.  

I recently had the pleasure of spending some time (about 15 hours) doing some trail maintenance and helping mark the trail with some high reflective tape blazes for the upcoming 101K event.  About 3 of these hours were after it got dark.  BEFORE you take your epic-ass out to try and “crack the rock,” or as I now think of it, “The Widowmaker,” I IMPLORE you to read and heed the following advice.

1.  LIGHT IT UP!  Take a bright headlamp, a handheld light, a backup hand held light, and spare batteries.  If you have no light you are DONE.  Seriously.  Bring light.  Good, bright, reliable, long lasting lights – and bring a spare.

2.  24 hours sounds like a long cutoff for a 101K.  Don’t underestimate the toll this course will take on your body (look at the course profile) or how much slower you will move at night.  It literally becomes a game of find the next blue blaze and try not to fall.  Averaging 2-3 miles an hour in the dark will be tough (for most people) regardless how your legs feel.  That said, it could easily take every bit of 12-14 hours to do that last 50K depending on where you are when it gets dark.  Depth, distance, and speed perception is an entirely different animal out there after the sun goes down.

3.  BRING A PACER – I would highly suggest you find someone to pace you the last 25K if not the entire second 50K, if for no other reason than to you keep on the trail.  If you have ever run a highly technical trail you know the mental toll that it takes on you to outlay that much concentration for that long.   After 30-50 punishing miles, you will need a battle buddy to keep your mind right, keep you upright, and keep you pointed in the right direction.  It really becomes a slow game of “Where is the next blue blaze?”.  Call in all your favors, buy them their favorite beers, or blackmail them – but get somebody out there.  You will probably regret it if you don’t.

That said, I am super excited for this race.  The high degree of badassery that it will take to finish this course TRULY qualifies a finisher to earn the title of EPIC ULTRARUNNER!  I have NO DOUBT that RD, Eric Steele, will once again come through with an outstanding event that we will be talking about for the rest of our lives.  Like he says, we co-create these events together.  I definitely plan on co-creating the shit out of this one!  Although I do hope the weather doesn’t try and one-up the Inaugural Prairie Spirit…

Assuming you have the required brass balls or titanium ovaries there is still time and space to register .  IF you are a seriously demented ”MANIAC” and need to get that double up in truly EPIC fashion, you could run the Flatrock 101K on Saturday then drive down to the  OKC Marathon on Sunday.